The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary Phd.

Without realizing, we so often endorse our children for their actions, rather than for just being. Celebrating our children’s being means allowing them to exist without the snares of our expectations. It’s to revel in their existence without them having to do a single thing, prove anything, or accomplish any kind of goal.

No matter how it manifests, our children’s essence is pure and loving. When we honor this essence, they trust we understand that their internal world is good and worthy, regardless of what manifests externally. Our ability to stay connected to their essence, holding steady through those periods in which their external world may be falling apart, conveys the message that they are of immense value. 

Allow me to suggest some of the ways in which you can let your children know they are accepted simply for themselves, quite apart from anything they do:

They are resting, and you tell them how appreciate they are.

They are sitting, and you tell them how happy you are to sit with them.

They are walking in the house, and you stop them to say, “ Thank you for being in my life.”

They hold your hand, and you tell them how much you love to hold theirs.

They wake up in the morning, and you write them a letter saying how blessed you are to get to see them first thing in the day.

You pick them up from school and tell them how much you missed them.

They smile, and you tell them your heart is warmed.

They kiss you, and you tell them you love being in their presence. 

Whether you have an infant or a teen, your children need to feel that just because they exist, they delight you. They need to know they don’t have to do anything to earn, your undivided attention. They deserve to feel as if just by being born, they have earned the right to be adored. 

 ‘The Conscious Parent‘ by Dr. Shefali Tsabary Phd., published by Namaste Publishing, 2010 _ excerpt  (pp 26-27)