Good Vibrations
From neuroscience, we now know the power of mirror neurons, the ways our brains are in a kind of sync with each other. When you see someone smile, for example, your neurons for smiling light up, even if you don’t know what the other person is smiling about and even if you don’t visibly smile yourself. The understanding of mirror neurons is a revelation in the ways we influence each other, and in no arena is it more important than in the ways we influence children. Consider how sponge-like those little beings are in soaking up information and imitating behavior. Consider also that their brains are equally adept in immersing in the feelings and moods of those around them. A friend who has three children once told me that one of the joys of being a mother for her was that it forced her to be her best self, that she stayed on a higher frequency within herself for the sake of her children in order to engender an atmosphere of delight and kindness and because she could see how easily influenced by her moods they were. Of course, having to always be one’s best self can be a challenge to parents who might be stressed for all kinds of reasons—hard work, difficulties within their own relationship, financial worries. But it seems crucial to have that intention as a parent—habituating to joy, love, understanding, and acceptance, especially in the presence of your children. And yet, it is also okay to fail now and again (as we all do). As the Sufis have it:
“Even though you have broken your vow, perhaps ten thousand times, come, come again.”
–Catherine Ingram, president of Living Dharma and author of In the Footsteps of Gandhi, Passionate Presence, and A Crack in Everything
